i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
did i walk over a car last night?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
