how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
