Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
