So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
whose ass print is on the piano?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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