Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
