I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
