is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
