The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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