i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
