he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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