I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
