At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize