The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I will be naked everywhere
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
