So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
