Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
