I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
