i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
