Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
