Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize