I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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