i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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