before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
