Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
