dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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