yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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