You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
