Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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