how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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