I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize