I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
