your thong is hanging out like whoa
plz talk dirty to me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
