So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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