Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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