ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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