if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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