he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize