you would pick up someone in the library
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
