How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize