Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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