okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
