So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize