i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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