Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
