How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize