They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
