Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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