We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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