I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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