Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize