I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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