Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
