I don't remember. Are we still dating?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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