Duck Duck Cougar?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
