i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
