She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
