HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize