Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
