I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
