Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
