Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
