I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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