I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
