This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
