You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
