i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
