I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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