Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
