it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
