Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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