i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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