someone threw a dead crab at me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
